


Strength and Sorrow

by vk31



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5692246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vk31/pseuds/vk31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren seeks out Rey at the behest of Snoke.<br/>"Even through his gloves, Ren could feel the feverish heat that radiated from her pores. An odd feeling swept through his stomach. With a start, Ren realized it was guilt. For a moment, his hands trembled with indecision. Then, cold fury engulfed him once more, and he pressed down on the plunger."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A hoarse, baritone voice echoed throughout the chamber, ricocheting off sharp ridges in the grubby bone walls. A grotesquely disfigured man stood with his back to the room’s only other occupant, a tall lean figure shrouded in black. “Bring the scavenger girl.”   
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Rey was awoken by the splash of icey water in her face. Sputtering, she flailed her arms, connecting with something warm and hard. Instantly, she came to her senses and discovered Master Lake nursing his cheek as an empty jug lay forgotten on the ground next to her makeshift bed, a pile of sheets and blankets. “I'm so sorry,” she began hastily, but Luke simply held up a hand. “An auspicious start to our meditation.” He chuckled lightly. Awkwardly, Rey twisted herself from the jumble of sheets, rose to her feet and offered a hand to her Master. She had voiced her reservations about returning to Takodana, but Luke was resolute. A period of meditation in a place she had previously faced conflict, he had reasoned, would be good for her. Rey was still not convinced- though nearly half a year had passed, memories of her battle here with Kylo Ren sent shivers down her spine, though she would never admit it. As if sensing her thoughts, Luke patted her shoulder gently. “It will pass. Come now.” 

The man in black now sat in the cockpit of an airship. His scarred hands were at the controls, knuckles white with strain. Dark locks plastered his face, which gleamed with sweat. A single vicious red scar snaked from one high-arched cheekbone to his jaw. He jolted the joystick a final time, and with a roar, the engine revved. After a great shudder, the aircraft shot into the murky sky.


	2. Chapter 2

The Sun was setting in the horizon. Rey drew her tunic closer to herself as gusts of wind rustled through the trees. They had been walking for most of the day, stopping only to eat and meditate at sites Luke deemed important. Rey could hardly be bothered- she still marvelled at Takodana's rich greens, a welcome contrast to the dull hues of Jakku. Ah. A soft sigh from Luke caught her attention. The uphill climb had at last levelled at the top of the mountain. Hoisting her supply satchel higher on her shoulders, Rey scrambled up a precariously stacked pile of rocks to catch up to her Master, who was several paces ahead. Finally, the two came to a stop at a clearing. Luke planted his staff in the ground and beckoned for her to take a seat on the ground. Teacher and student sat shoulder to shoulder gazing up at the pink sky. "The sunset," Luke pronounced after a long pause, "is a transition between light and dark- a sort of balance, if you will." He turned his head towards Rey. "But it is fleeting." With that, he resumed his meditation, leaving Rey confused and thirsty. It was typical of Luke to deliver cryptic lessons and leave her to piece them together. But meditation was taxing- Rey was naturally fidgety, and despite the long walk, she could feel the weight of her unspent energy pressing against her, suppressed only by boredom. Beside her, Luke had settled into a pattern of soft breaths. In, out, in, out. Rey willed herself to concentrate- she pressed her eyes shut and tried to feel the Force envelop her. She could sense it- just barely- and it lapped up against her and through her in light waves. Her shoulders began to loosen. Suddenly, Luke exclaimed loudly, a sharp guttural noise. Rey's eyes flew open. "Wha-" she began questioningly, but Luke had already sprung to his feet and seized his staff. Her heartbeat quickened as she followed suit. He reached for her arm and pulled her under the covering of trees. "Run!" he breathed frantically, an uncharacteristic panic flickering in his eyes. Rey opened her mouth to protest, a flurry of questions building in her mind, but Luke had left her. He had planted himself about 25 meters away and unsheathed a saber. Rey opened her mouth to shout his name. And froze. To her horror, the trees were shaking, now violently. Luke's robes billowed in the sudden maelstrom. Rey squinted her eyes against the stinging, airborne particles of dirt. A heavy impact shook the ground and for a brief second, everything was still. Her eyes widened. Slowly, the outline of a dark ship was flickering into sight. Damnit she swore desperately, her eyes seeking out Luke. He was still rooted firmly to the same spot. His cry "run" echoed in her head, but she would not abandon her Master- her teacher. Through the dusky haze, a tall, dark figure was drawing nearer. "Luke Skywalker." The voice was filtered and devoid of emotion. "And Rey." She shuddered involuntarily at her name. Rey braced herself. She would not hide in the trees and watch Luke duel their enemy alone. Blood thumped in her ears but so too did adrenaline. She shrugged her pack of her shoulders, let it drop to the ground at the edge of the forest, and unlatched her saber from her belt. From opposite directions, she and the Sith approached Luke. Rey assumed her position at her teacher's side. "Kylo Ren," Luke said as a way of greeting and in the moment he looked older and sadder than anyone Rey had ever seen. A hideous black mask stared back at the two of them. Every instinct of Rey's was screaming to attack. The filtered voice came again: "I come for the scavenger." Swiftly ,unprecedentedly, Ren arced his saber, a malformed red weapon, and lunged towards the older man. Luke was too slow. Instinctively, he moved to shied himself with his prosthetic hand. But Rey was ready. She deflected, nearly falling backward with the impact of their clash. A low growl escaped the mask. "You defy me." Ren was upon her once more but Luke took a sweep at his chest. The sith ducked with astounding speed and Luke stumbled with momentum. "Enough." The command echoed. Ren outstretched a hand. Rey could feel him manipulating the Force- freezing her and Luke in place. She resisted, but her movements were sluggish and labored. Ren swept past Luke, who was pinned to the ground, and parried Rey's strokes with mechanical ease. Rey gritted her teeth and pushed against the Force with as much strength as she could muster. She was on the defensive- Ren's vicious lashes backed her towards the ship. All the while, she could feel herself slowing at his will. She dodged a strike and aimed for his neck. A mistake. She had left herself open for attack. The hilt of his saber caught her in the ribs and she fell backward. Shadows seeped into her mind, and she resisted the urge to vomit. Luke was still down- even from here, Rey could see that his breaths were painfully slow. Her head began to swim. The scene blurred. Her heart constricted in her chest. Now, hard hands hoisted her up and darkness swept over her.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey was roused by the pain in her rib. She cracked an eye open, mapping out her surroundings with quick eyes. Dark walls, a shiny metallic cabinet in the corner, a high stool, dim artificial light, a sterile smell. The place was eerily similar to the torture chamber on Starkiller Base. A metallic clink sounded and she whirred towards the source. The heavy door whirred and a lock clicked. A chink of Rey's subconscious leapt with hope at the promise of rescue. Wearily, she dismissed the notion as the door swung open and Kylo Ren entered. Behind him, an armed stormtrooper re-sealed the exit. Rey noticed that his saber was hitched to his belt. Battle armor protected him completely. But she would not succumb. Rey swallowed and set her jaw. Ren stopped a foot away from her. "Relinquish the Light," came the automated voice. "It holds nothing for you." Cold pinpricks ran up Rey's spine. She fought to keep her voice level. "What have you done with Master Luke?" Ren answered her, "Luke is weak now, disposable. Shepherding him here would have been futile." A knot in Rey's chest loosened slightly. Ren leaned closer and Rey's muscles tightened instinctively at the proximity. In barely more than a whisper, he added, "But that can change, no?" Ren drew back slowly and Rey realized she had been holding her breath. It now came out in small pants- with effort, she steadied her breathing, determined not to let her terror show. He began to circle her, and she could feel him prying his way into her mind. Her head slammed against the chair back and she could not tell if it was his doing or her own resistance. “You are not weak. You can be strong . Here, where you will find respect and power. Unlimited power.” He breached a mental barrier and a strangled cry escaped Rey’s throat. A horrible burning sensation ripped through her skull. He was tearing through her memories now- Rey as a child, bony and bloody-knuckled, tearing machinery through a merciless desert as she watched a family laugh together by the light of a bonfire, Rey teaching herself how to work an engine- and he was twisting them, corrupting them, trying to make her see the hate and the pain of the world. Metal clanged as Rey struggled against her shackles, trying to expel the infiltrator. Ren’s breaths, too, had quickened under strain and the two grappled for control. Pure agony filled Rey and she succumbed to the pain. Listless, she slumped against the chair. Her thoughts went black.  
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	4. Chapter 4

The girl was strong. Her life in Jakku had been anything but easy- and yet, she had not been swayed. There was a grim perseverance about her but Ren swore to himself, he would break it. He watched her now, so powerful but so unassuming. She looked frail, helpless even, her shallow breaths punctuating the silence. There was no time for naps. Ren moved towards the cabinet and removed a syringe filled with a dark liquid. He fastened a needle to its end. Rey was still insentient. He held the syringe to her exposed neck. Even through his gloves, Ren could feel the feverish heat that radiated from her pores. An odd feeling swept through his stomach. With a start, Ren realized it was guilt. For a moment, his hands trembled with indecision. Then, cold fury engulfed him once more, and he pressed down on the plunger.  
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Rey’s eyes flew open. There was a sharp stinging in her neck. A cold liquid was swimming through her blood. And Ren was studying her carefully. He was trying to worm back into her thoughts- she would not let him. He could feel her weariness- it was a wonder she was putting up a fight still. Bloodshot eyes bore into him with a mixture of revulsion and fear. His hands fisted as he fought her weakening barriers. And then they shattered. Rey winced outwardly and a trickle of hot blood leaked from her mouth. He could feel the pain and sorrow of her memories acutely. It should have turned her, by now, this minefield of tribulations. But Rey had resisted, and still did, even as Ren planted seeds of hatred in her mind. He, too, was bent on achieving goal, and he would pursue it ruthlessly. He willed his own burning fury into her thoughts but she denied them, each sharp intake of air growing more labored. She was on the verge of breaking. Ren sensed it too. Almost jubilantly, he forced his mind into hers again. No! Rey's terrible cry pierced the air.  
Now she was convulsing in her chair. Her mouth opened and shut with silent screams like a sick pantomime. Ren dropped his hand- his thoughts receded from hers. Rey's hands, raw and chaffed from her manacles, clawed at her own head. Ren felt a sickness wash over him- this was his doing. He watched as she writhed in pain, her face running with sweat and blood. An eternity seemed to pass before Rey collapsed in sheer exhaustion. Ren's eyes had not moved from her. Her Force signature was a blinding white but it was waning- she was so close to death. Ren's voice was smooth when he pulled a communicator from his belt. “Send a medical drone to 31.”


	5. Chapter 5

The medical drone had come and gone. Rey’s fractured rib had been bandaged but nothing could be done for her mind. Ren shucked off his gloves and prepared another syringe. She will give up eventually. His hands lingered at her neck. Thirty seconds passed. A minute. Rey shifted her head in her sleep and her lips met his bare hand, smudging it faintly with blood. He despised her- she, who tugged him to the Light, who brought upon him such turmoil. We are both creatures of pain, Light and Dark. Ren hurled the syringe at the wall. It shattered and dark liquid oozed onto the floor. He would break her. Not today.  
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Ren was pacing in his chambers when he sensed, through the Force, Rey’s conscious resurfacing. Swiftly, he shut the open book on his desk and exited the room. By the time he arrived at the interrogation cell, Rey was waiting for him. She did not break her hard gaze, as she watched him carefully through swollen eyes. Her silence was unsettling and Ren figured it was intentional- she would reveal no more than was strictly necessary. Her resolve would need to be weakened. “Your resistance is foolish,” he said sharply. “Eventually, you will succumb- it would be wise to save yourself the pain.” Rey was shaking now- either from fury or fear or a combination of the two, Ren could not tell. Her jaw was tight when she spat, “I would die before joining you.” Ren nodded coldly. “Very well.” Rey would have to discover her limits. She knew this, too. But Ren was still. “We are remarkably alike, you and I. You would be a… valuable asset to our cause.” His voice grew more forceful; almost maniacal, Rey thought. “Here, you would be needed. Your dear Luke will do nothing but use you. I would know. I know his ways, Rey.” He spat her name. Rey spoke quietly. “I will not join you.” His hand flew to his saber. Her time had come. She shut her eyes, and was at peace. There was no impact. Was this death? Rey wondered vaguely. Ren’s saber had stopped a hair’s breadth from her throat. His hand was steady, and she noticed, bandaged. He withdrew the weapon. “How odd. You do not fear death.” And a horrifying half-grin tugged at his face, replacing the look of quiet puzzlement. “But Rey, I know that you fear solitude.” Without warning, he broke past her mental bars. He was no longer rooting through her memories; instead, he was implanting new ones. Rey’s mind was burning. Burning and then black.  
She regained consciousness with a sharp gasp. Dazed, she lifted a hand to her face. Where am I? Her dagger was not in her belt. Then, she noticed- her hand was wet with dark blood. Rey was oddly placid- a cold, detachedness washed over her. She looked down. And shrieked. Beneath her, were mangled bodies. Their blood was soaking through her robes. With a jolt of horror, Rey realized the body beneath hers was warm and breathing slowly. One electric blue eye opened. “You have failed me, Padawan.” Rey felt bile rise in her throat and then she was drowning in blood.  
She resurfaced, panting raggedly. Loud cries and strangled gasps rang in her ears. The noises were coming from her own numb mouth. Dark walls everywhere. She was back in the cell. Ren’s face was a mere foot from hers. His mask was off, on the floor at his feet, his eyes were all white. A vein jutted out of his bloodless forehead. Rey heard Luke’s words whisper in her mind. “Find your peace.” Rey breathed deeply, willing herself to steady her frantic pants. Ren was too deep into her mind to safeguard his own. She snaked her way in. His mind was so purely dark. Memories exploded in front of her eyes. She saw memories of his first kill and the dry sobs he heaved later in his room. More images swam through her head- Ren laughing with his mother, a softer, happier version of the general she knew, the knowledge that this meeting would be their last weighing down on him. Finally she recognized her own face, gritted in pain in the very same chair. She swallowed dryly as she saw her avatar’s lips brush against his hand and felt the tear in his chest. The scene flickered to his quarters. She saw his jaw tighten at the sight of her dried blood on his hand and watched as, in a fit of blind rage, he slashed his own skin off with his twisted red saber.


End file.
